The Beggining

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE comment on this blog. It would mean a lot to me if you let me know how your life is going or what you think about what I am doing. If you want to send me any private emails, email me at mathandstuff@hotmail.com If you want to see the coolest party coming up after Africa go here:

http://ucsu.colorado.edu/~hedmane/


So it is 6:30 in the morning. I haven't slept all night, and I'm getting picked up to go to Africa in 45 minutes. A cup o noodles sits besides me representing all that I had for dinner. My friends ask me, so what are you doing in Africa and I tell them, well when I have time I'll figure it out. I guess for the next 45 minutes I will have time, as sleeping seems a bit pointless now.

My life up to this point has had some major changes. PLC is done, which is a huge shift, as I often claimed PLC was my life. I am getting an internship working with IBM, which is as corporate as it gets, so I am going to see if the corporate world is for me (which I have a really good feeling it won't be). And additionally, I think I actually truly became attracted to a girl this semester emotionally. So I've had a lot of fun trying to figure that out, and now I'm at the stage where it is out in the open, but what's going to be done about is still in the air. So thats where I am.

And now I am going to Africa. I am going to grow so much its going to be absolutely rediculous. 9 of my friends from leadership class are all going to Kenya and Tanzania with me, and every time I talk with them, they challenge my entire perspective of the world. That plus being in a part of the world that is completely foriegn to me will definately have some sort of effect.

I am takeing this trip day by day, as I feel that this is the best way for me to appreciate each moment. As of now I am planning for my trip to Kenya which will be many hours of flying. Here is a list of the books I'm takeing:

Angels and Demons -given to me by my AP English teacher
New Christianity - a book written by pastor, Pastor Rich Mayfield, who has helped shaped my life spiritually in so many ways.
Tao te Ching- Basicly the Taoist Bible
The Olive Branch and the Lexus - This book was recomended to me by numerous leaders in the field of engineering. It underlines how engineering is becoming international, and how my job is going to be taken by some guy who works for minimum wage soon enough.
The Davinci Code- So they don't sale it in paper back here, but they do sale it in paper back in London, so I'm going to be sure to pick one of these up.

In addition, I have a journal that I hope to fill. If I write down my growth and change, I feel like I will have a much better understanding.

As for today I hope to reat the entire Tao te Ching and then meditate. I have 15 hours in flight, so I can do some Air Borne meditation. Pretty cool huh, I could be the first to try this. But I got a lot of stuff to clear out of my mind. New begginings require fresh start, and I am definately leaving at a pivotal corner. Its time to let that corner freeze in time, and become new.

I hope to grow in a lot of ways. First off, I want to see where I want to go with this engineering thing. I love the classes, I love the projects, and I love the concepts. But when it gets to the work world, I have an aim to be more than a printer manufacturer. I want to be a person makeing a difference, choices, and contribution. So which direction do I go? Do I try to put that goal into place with a regular enineering job, or do I instead try to take a job that is all about change, and apply my engineering job.

Another great concept that I'm trying to figure out is how do others effect my life. This semester I've really learned that connecting with other people on an intimate level can be massively rewarding. This is something new for me. How do I persue this? Have I lost value in my individual self? What the freak do I do about this crush of mine? These questions will have massive impacts on my life, as I feel like I'm in the middle (half individual/half others) and it's really muddy and contradictory right now.

Finally, I hope to get to know Africa. As I've told all my friends, I want to ride a zebra. I wonder if my mom has figured out that my survival rate at attempting to ride a wild zebra is about 10% :). I can't wait to spend time with the natives which we have put into the schedule. I find that I can relate to foriegn people so much more than my peers here. I also can't wait to see an entire different landscape. Also, as my brother Hayden told me yesterday, I hope to "shoot a lion directly in the face, ride an elephant, and fight a famous boxer" (It's a Simpsons quote, but it is so funny).

But once again, I'm actually going to erase these goals on my plane ride. I want to take Africa in as a whole not as a means to solve a few of my dilemas. I can't wait. So once again, please post anything you have questions or comments on. I will check this thing a few times, so you can be sure of updates (With PHOTOS).

One thing I will miss a lot is my family. Traditionally, Christmas is the only time of the year, when my whole family can be together. Wakeing up with my brothers to see what Santa has laid out in the stockings. And then waiting for my parents to wake up so we can open Santa's big preasents. And then just chilling out with my family for an entire day. This has so much significance to me, as my family (all of us) are so busy. This year I won't have this. And on top of that, I wish I could be there for my brothers. Hayden is struggling with math and Leadership class, and I wish I could be there, to tell him, you can do it buddy. He is becoming my clone just 4 years behind. And Garrett is looking toward college and is lost himself in purpose. I love talking with him on what his purpose in life is. And how he handles his future. I will miss singing to oldies stations with my Dad which is ALL he listens to and talking to him about the strangest topics. And I will miss being in touch with my mom. She came up to say good bye, and unfortunately, I had to have an interview with IBM and do a presentation with PLC, and had an RA emergency at that time, so we never got to say good bye. She has helped me so much understand myself and what college means to me. So its going to be hard to say goodbye to that. This break could be the first time I ever get homesick, as it will now be almost nine months since I really spent more than a day or two with my family.

And as the song I'm listening to right now from Trans-Siberian orchestra states: "It begins".